Mistress,
Wow - my first blog! i don't mean just with You, i mean my first blog period! Kinda like a virgin, Madonna thing! (Sorry, i'm an 80's whore). But i could think of no other thing more significant to blog about. i have been walking on air since the moment i signed our contract - such an inner peace and joy. And this is given the fact that life around here is absolutely falling apart! Well, not that bad, but with the theft and some other issues, it's been stressful. But You know, it's all going to be ok.
This morning was a classic example of how things can all work out if you're centered and focused. As You know, i had every intention (and did) wake up early to begin my day by meditating on my Domme and how to be the best slave i can be to Her. Well, that didn't happen. The kids got up early and i rolled into putting out one fire to another.
It wasn't to about 1:30 PM when i had the opportunity and piece of mind to get home and strip completely naked and drop to my knees for You. It was like flopping down on the couch! So natural, so comfortable, so where i had been longing to be since the moment i woke."*
It was another great meditation. i soaked it all in with just feeling "clean". i felt my nakedness, my complete vulnerability from not so much the lack of clothing on the outside, but from inside. i sat up straight, shoulders back, bearing my chest and heart to the window on the East wall. Like thrusting yourself into a warm shower in the morning - ripples and tingles followed by a warm soothing.
My thoughts wandered reflecting now just what i was doing. i wasn't thinking about how i could serve You, no kinky scenarios, i just thought of closing my eyes and giving You all control, period, and smiled because i knew that's what You want - i didn't really have to worry about anything else other than to make sure i was always able to put myself in this headspace for You and more. And then the oddest thing happened - i felt my cock getting hard...
i pondered this. Sure it felt great, but physical intimacy were the furthest images from my mind at the time. i was meditating on You and how to best give myself over to You, not fantasizing about a scene. And this harkened back to what we had been talking about - the nature and similarities between our feishes. This was why we are both here - this is what we share - the true exchange of power, control, will to someone who craves taking it as much as i desire to give it. It set off all those endorphins and physical reaction involuntarily. And although a sub is not supposed to show desire for his Domme, just a desire to serve, i knew that You would understand what was happening. And maybe even smile a wicked grin.
i then just tried to focus simply on how to i could be that open canvas for You in the future. Not so much what i could do for You, because You will tell me, and i will obey. i realized that i was at the threshold of a new aspect of my sexuality, something that has been been missing since my first attraction to BDSM - the true essence of D/s and complete trust in submission.
And then the duck quacked. (lol, the alarm tone on my phone)
Thank You, Mistress, for all of this. i so hope this pleases You as much if it not more me. After all, that's what it's all about. "Trip like i do" to quote an old Crystal Meth tune. ;)
Your slave doll, paul
* i felt myself getting hard as i typed this line, as it correlates to the paragraph below it.
