Today during my 10 minutes, i felt distictly naked. it just felt like every inch of me was visible, inside an out. i hope there's a glow it it for You on Sunday - that You see just how vulnerable and exposed i've allowed myself to become - that You have allowed e and empowered me to share with You. Again, thank You, Mistress....
Friday, June 6, 2014
"Naked" Therapy
i must admit, this daily meditation is so theraputic on so many different levels. Not only does it help me focus on You and my role to You, Mistress, there's that "centering" that just puts everything in perspective. It follows me throughout my day, and makes me think of You when i catch my breath. So again, thank You, Mistress.
Thursday, June 5, 2014
Finding peace, 10 inutes at a time
So during my meditation today, the thought about how lucky it was to have the opportunity to be in that room naked and on knees popped into my head. i guess maybe it's becoming habit, but more importantly, i feel it's becoming a healthy routine.
So as even as stressed as i got the rest of the day (including now considering the hour+ it took to gigure out how to post that damn image!), i harkened back to that 10 minutes, took a deep breath, and felt better.
Anyway, this has been great, it will be great, and i've no worries in regards to Sunday. i'm now more looking forward to it as a means to putting Your mind and heart at ease, Mistress.
Thank You so much for entering my life and sharing Yours.
my life is in transition now, and that's not a bad thing - so many people say that like they have an STD. But no, change is good, especially for someone like myself. But some changes can be more stressful others - this one being one of them. So this new routine You've instilled into my life couldn't have come at a better time - thank You, Mistress.
Another observation that occurred to me was an overwhelming sense of peace and lack of worry - on any and every subject. Like whatever is meant to be will be. An then i saw this post on FB from my cousin:
So as even as stressed as i got the rest of the day (including now considering the hour+ it took to gigure out how to post that damn image!), i harkened back to that 10 minutes, took a deep breath, and felt better.
Anyway, this has been great, it will be great, and i've no worries in regards to Sunday. i'm now more looking forward to it as a means to putting Your mind and heart at ease, Mistress.
Thank You so much for entering my life and sharing Yours.
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
Always a lesson to be learned...
Mistress,
i can't tell You how great it feels to be able to take time out of my day to spend focusing on You. Given my current lifestyle, yes, it is difficult to make it fit in a schedule (considering i don't have one!), but it's more difficult when i don't (learned from previous weeks experience). It's a lesson to be learned i guess - that we need to make time for ourselves if we truly love and respect ourselves - You can't love someone else if You don't love Yourself. So this whole experience has been good - it's healthy to take time out for myself, so that i'm a better person for others.
Thank You, Mistress, for pushing me and keeping me on track. i know i tend to want to tip on the rails, but i appreciate You sticking with me and keeping me in line.
i can't tell You how great it feels to be able to take time out of my day to spend focusing on You. Given my current lifestyle, yes, it is difficult to make it fit in a schedule (considering i don't have one!), but it's more difficult when i don't (learned from previous weeks experience). It's a lesson to be learned i guess - that we need to make time for ourselves if we truly love and respect ourselves - You can't love someone else if You don't love Yourself. So this whole experience has been good - it's healthy to take time out for myself, so that i'm a better person for others.
Thank You, Mistress, for pushing me and keeping me on track. i know i tend to want to tip on the rails, but i appreciate You sticking with me and keeping me in line.
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
Optimistically On to Sunday!
Mistress,
(Just so You know, i still feel so privileged to have the honor of calling You Mistress), i find myself a little conflicted as i write this, simply because i'm so happy to feel so completely back on track, and You still seem to be aprehensive, or at least, not as thrilled. i feel terrible about this - my happiness is irrelevent if it's less than Your own. So, like i said, a wee bit bummed, yet still optimistic.
On that optimistic note - Sunday. i hope that my sincerity and commitment will be transparent, and You will again feel that connection You spoke of. I realize the risks - that if it's not there, than there will be nothing left to go on, but if it is, there's no going back from that either - so on to Sunday! But again, i truly feel that all will be as it was meant o be.
Thank You, Mistress, for everything...
You're doll comitted to being taken to Your point B
(Just so You know, i still feel so privileged to have the honor of calling You Mistress), i find myself a little conflicted as i write this, simply because i'm so happy to feel so completely back on track, and You still seem to be aprehensive, or at least, not as thrilled. i feel terrible about this - my happiness is irrelevent if it's less than Your own. So, like i said, a wee bit bummed, yet still optimistic.
On that optimistic note - Sunday. i hope that my sincerity and commitment will be transparent, and You will again feel that connection You spoke of. I realize the risks - that if it's not there, than there will be nothing left to go on, but if it is, there's no going back from that either - so on to Sunday! But again, i truly feel that all will be as it was meant o be.
Thank You, Mistress, for everything...
You're doll comitted to being taken to Your point B
Making due adjustments - happily
Mistress,
Well, as i mentioned before i even took the kids to the movies, i have been thinking about this blog. i apologize that it actually got typed this late, but believe me, i will get a better schedule developed if for anything out of self-preservation. But until then, i will maintain true to my word.
that said, i think that it's more important to note that i was thinking of You all day, and not the fact that i actually published this. This i say only to let You know that i heard You when You said that You are not necessarily task-orientated, but the thought and commitment behind it. i'm with You - this day just got away from me and i AM making adjustments to my schedule.
i guess that that in essence was what i intended to blog about - that i spent most of the day concentrating on how to make the adjustments to my schedule to correspond with my new lifestyle. Yes, it is a challenge that has intimidated me, but now honestly excites me. The fact that You have inspired me to even contemplate this is amazing enough, but my dessire to truly be Yours, to be taken to Your point B is what gives me the strength to actually accomplish it.
Thank You, Mistress, for Your faith in me. Please do not let the time stamp on this blog have any bearig on its sincerity - the schedule will get better.
Sunday, June 1, 2014
An introspective look - snap shot
Mistress,
This blog comes on the heels of a very serious conversation we had earlier today where You asked me to truly look inside myself and consider if TPE was right for me and at this time in my life. i would like to expound with a thorough, lengthy post that captures all that's running through my head right now, complete with historical review and synopsis, moving forward action plans, blah, blah blah. Truth is, i'm still working on it, but i would like to at least write down what i have now, in the vein that You said it didn't have to be anything grandiose, just something to show that i was thinking about You and making an effort.
Ok, so here is where i'm at. i recognize that our "connection" has been weakened this past few weeks. i want it back. i want to make the effort to get it back. i know i must take the initiative and modify my schedule and behavior in order for this to happen. So, in summary - i miss the connection with You, i want it back, i want to be underneath Your wings again.
As far as the TPE thing goes and my interest, aptitude, and realistic ability for it. i do want it. i do crave it. i am a little nervous about it. But the truth is, the TPE has nothing to do with it...it's the concept of becoming that vulnerable to someone, that dependent. Scary. But let me put it this way in reverse: i do have the ability (i'll just make it happen, i can do anything! (yes, cocky business guy talking)); i do have the aptitude, i think You've seen some evidence of that; and finally, my interest? Absofuckinglutely! Given we do have that connection once we meet in real time. i think You said it yourself, we simply have to get that first meeting and see if we click in person. But yes, we both clear that hurdle, and i swear, i will subject myself to Your behavior modification with the express purpose to be Your complete slave.
In summary...
- yes, Mistress
- please, Mistress
This blog comes on the heels of a very serious conversation we had earlier today where You asked me to truly look inside myself and consider if TPE was right for me and at this time in my life. i would like to expound with a thorough, lengthy post that captures all that's running through my head right now, complete with historical review and synopsis, moving forward action plans, blah, blah blah. Truth is, i'm still working on it, but i would like to at least write down what i have now, in the vein that You said it didn't have to be anything grandiose, just something to show that i was thinking about You and making an effort.
Ok, so here is where i'm at. i recognize that our "connection" has been weakened this past few weeks. i want it back. i want to make the effort to get it back. i know i must take the initiative and modify my schedule and behavior in order for this to happen. So, in summary - i miss the connection with You, i want it back, i want to be underneath Your wings again.
As far as the TPE thing goes and my interest, aptitude, and realistic ability for it. i do want it. i do crave it. i am a little nervous about it. But the truth is, the TPE has nothing to do with it...it's the concept of becoming that vulnerable to someone, that dependent. Scary. But let me put it this way in reverse: i do have the ability (i'll just make it happen, i can do anything! (yes, cocky business guy talking)); i do have the aptitude, i think You've seen some evidence of that; and finally, my interest? Absofuckinglutely! Given we do have that connection once we meet in real time. i think You said it yourself, we simply have to get that first meeting and see if we click in person. But yes, we both clear that hurdle, and i swear, i will subject myself to Your behavior modification with the express purpose to be Your complete slave.
In summary...
- yes, Mistress
- please, Mistress
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